Most people think it’s a situation or someone out there is the cause of our emotional pain—NO.
The real cause of our emotional pain is how we think of situations. Below you will find two examples of how an individual gains control of his anger.
By following these 5 steps below you will gain control of your emotions.
| Situation Briefly describe the actual event leading to the unpleasant situation. (Ku ndodheshit?) | Emotion(s) 1. Specify: Anger, Anxiety, Depression/Sadness, etc. 2. Rate the degree of emotion: 0-100% | Negative Thoughts/Beliefs 1. Write thoughts you had before you started to feel this way. 2. How strongly is your belief (0-100%) | Rational Response(s) Write rational response(s) to automatic thought(s) | Outcome 1. Now rate your emotions 0-100% |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Example At home: my grandmother criticized me. 1. She called me ‘lazy’ & ‘stupid’ | 1. Anger 100% 2. Shame 100% | 1. I must be lazy 90% 2. It must be stupid 100% | 1. I am not lazy, I am a hard worker 2. I worked very hard when I was in school and did well | 1. Anger 50% 2. Shame 50% |
| Example College: 1 I got grade of C in my chemistry class. | 1. Depressed (100%) 2. Angry with myself (100%) 3. Worried (90%) | 1. I am stupid. 2. I will not graduate from college | 1. Getting a C in my chemistry tests is not F. I can still try to do better 2. I have all As in my other classes 3. I am not a loser. | Depressed 60% Anger 50% Worried 30% |